If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” even the darkness is not dark to You;
the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with You.

Psalm 139:11-12

I recognize it would be easy for someone to stumble upon our blog and think, “Wow, they have been through so much…what incredible perseverance and faith.”  In fact, we’ve been told that several times in the last year.  And while true, that God has grown our faith and caused us to persevere, it by no means indicates that we never have really low moments.  Yes, God has kept us and we continue to trust Him and have faith.  And yes, we still hit major valleys and moments of despair.

This was one such week.  I had been so sure that this week we would finally receive some good news about our boys’ cases.  Its been over a month since our last court date, and all we’ve heard is a deafening silence.  On Sunday, I was once again renewed to pray boldly and expect God to move on behalf of our boys.  Now it is Thursday and nothing.  Sometimes it really does feel as though God doesn’t hear me or that He’s simply indifferent to our situation.  Of course, I know this isn’t true because of His Word, but boy do I have to fight to believe it during weeks like these.  This particular trial is doubly hard because it doesn’t just involve me…there are two very adorable, beautiful, precious children who continue to wait without a mommy or a daddy.  Two little boys who aren’t being taught what it means to be a man after God’s own heart.  Two little boys who aren’t regularly hearing the good news of Christ.  Two little boys who don’t receive oodles of gifts on their birthdays…in fact, their birthday actually goes by unnoticed and un-celebrated by those around them.  Yes, its a particularly hard trial, most certainly the hardest I’ve ever faced.

Please keep praying for us…unless you’ve adopted, you really can’t imagine the agony of watching children that you plan to love and parent grow up for months without you.  Please pray that our all-merciful, all-powerful, God of the fatherless would indeed show His mercy and power by allowing our cases to pass very soon.  Pray that we will press on in a manner worthy of Christ.  May we see the light of Christ and not dwell in darkness.

3 thoughts on “Darkness

  1. Praying for your little guys!
    I’m so thankful for how God put us together that providential day Susan gave you my email address!
    Cling to God’s promises! He loves you very much!

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