Hopeful and Calm

Many have wondered how I’m feeling about our upcoming court date (only 5 days until M’s case is heard again!).  Honestly, I’m quite surprised by how calm and yet also how very hopeful I am this time around.  On Christmas Eve, we learned that a family from our agency (whom we’ve become close friends with) passed court for the two brothers they are adopting.  I was ecstatic, but this particular case was even more exciting because their boys and M are from the same original orphanage and came into our agency’s care on the same day.  We pretty much have identical cases and so the fact that they passed is a great indicator as to where M’s case stands with the courts.  Nevertheless, I’ve been praying over the last week or so that I would not concern myself with the circumstances of our case or put my faith in the Ethiopian judicial system, but that I would instead trust my God who cares for me.  I just read over all my posts regarding our adoption journey to date.  I’m somewhat in awe of how much the Lord has changed my heart over the last twelve months.  I look back to the earlier part of the year and see a girl who didn’t quite understand the grand purposes of the God she was praying to.  In my desperation to see these boys no longer suffer as orphans, I was blinded to the great work God needed to do in my soul in order that I might love and serve Him more faithfully.  Of course, there is still great work needed and in the last couple of weeks I’ve been acutely aware of the depths of my sinful nature.  But, despite this nature, God has given my eyes to see His love for me and I am confident that only His best plan is being worked out in my life.  I am praying boldly that M will pass court on Friday and trust my God to do what He sees best for all of us.

I know M will one day be my son.  I also know that there is no way to begin conceiving of the glorious blessings God has in store for us through this little life.  I recall the words of one of our traveling moms regarding her interaction with M:

We saw M first, and true to his reputation, he smiled immediately at me.  He came over and looked at the goodies and we talked through my interpreter.  We explained the pictures (he loved the one of himself.)  We showed him the other goodies and he was very happy.  He seems to be the sweetest little boy you can imagine.  Still smiling when he went back to the group.  You are very blessed to have him.

I am blessed…I have been blessed to love him from a distance and when the Lord chooses to bring him home, I know the blessing will only grow.  I praise God with all of my soul for allowing me to be a mother…it is a rich and beautiful life.

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