I’m mostly taking a second to jot this down because one day I know I’ll be so glad! Tonight after Kevin finished reading the story of Joshua and Jericho and was about to pray, Molly Kate and Madden said they wanted to pray too and then Miles pipes in that he also wanted to pray. So Kevin said everyone could pray and we’d go in age order…thus began a most adorable and hilarious and melt my heart time of family prayer.
Madden: Thank you God for this day and thank you for the weather. And keep us safe coming home (they traveled yesterday), which we did. And thank you Jesus for dying for our hearts. Amen.
Miles: Thank you God for this day. I pray that we would sleep good and that no one would throw up. And that we would have a good day tomorrow. Amen.
Molly Kate (i.e. our holy kid and theologically precise one): thank you God for this day and thank you for what I prayed this morning, that You provide food for us and that You showed You are all powerful and no one is greater than You. And I pray that me and Miles and Madden and Mikias and Maggie will all one day repent of our sins and trust in Jesus. And we know we can’t do that on our own, we need You. Amen.
Mikias: Thank you for our day and pray for (at this point Molly Kate interrupts to correct his grammar…”Mikias, it’s ‘I pray for’) and pray for (ignoring her correction) that we would all get good sleep and that Maggie would not wake up (a prayer which caused all the littles to burst into giggles and I took the liberty to explain to Mikias that she has to wake up one time to eat…so he finished…) and pray that she wakes up two times, I mean doesn’t wake up two times (and everyone is rolling by this point because they have successfully flustered their oldest brother so Mikias just ends his pain)…Amen.
Gosh I love these little souls and our God who created them so fearfully and wonderfully. And I love hearing them talk to Him.
I keep thinking there will be time…time to paint my toenails, time to read a good book, time to sit and write a blog post. But the reality is with five kids age 9 and under and one of those being a most adorable eight week old, there is no such thing as “me-time”! Thankfully Kevin has arranged for me to get out each morning for an hour walk/run and without that time alone with the Lord, I might lose my mind!! But in all seriousness, I love my days…I love my children, I still love homeschooling and I love, love, love my little Maggie and every part of getting to be her mama. And I love that the self-sacrifice required to care for all my little people and my husband each day is the very road God chose for me to learn to an even greater degree that I have no choice but to depend on Him, hour by hour, minute by minute. Each morning as I hike up the hill to enter my own little walking sanctuary (a sprawling cemetery on one of Atlanta’s highest points with a view of the entire city skyline!), I begin my time of prayer acknowledging my own insufficiencies, which pierce me to the core. Never in my life have I ever felt weaker than recovering from a hard delivery, being up all night with a newborn and sitting down to teach US history with excitement and zeal…and of course, there’s still laundry, meals and all the regular stuff not to mention my desire to get to know our new church members and neighbors! Yes, my limitations and insufficiencies are crystal clear. And often these weaknesses result in sin…I’m angry or anxious or overwhelmed or irritable or complaining. How could I complain about taking care of the gift that I begged God for for months and months? My sin runs so much deeper than I could ever imagine. But as I acknowledge my desperate need for grace upon that beautiful hill, God is so quick to remind me that He loves to supply me with all that I need, that He is more glorified in my neediness of Him than He ever is in my attempts at this perfect performance I so often feel entrapped by. And I’m reminded that Jesus’ performance was all that ever mattered and how thankful I am each day that His righteousness has been imputed to me.
One day, not too long from now, I’m sure there will be more time. And on that day, I’ll get around to writing more…because I really do miss it! But that day will mean my little doll won’t be so little anymore and so for now, I just want to treasure up her littleness and not miss one smile or coo. Oh, and you should get to enjoy this little smile as well!